Can I Just Tell You?

Welcome to Can I Just Tell You?
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Can I just tell you? This whole site needs an overhaul. My goodness! Thank you for visiting, come back again in a few weeks. I still appreciate your support. :)
 
I love your support. So many of you have encouraged me to keep writing all these years. I took a few years off because I wasn't feeling very confident about my skill and self-conscience about my subject matter. I really appreciate your gentle (sometimes haunting) push to get back on the proverbial horse. My favorite thing in the world is making someone laugh, typically at my own expense. It warms my heart to hear that my silly stories have helped you smile or laugh out loud when you felt like that's the last thing you could do.

 

I also really appreciate the support of many boyfriends who read through my entire collection of crazy and still chose to continue dating. I'm not sure if you felt bad for me or found me charming. Regardless, thanks for the encouragement.

 

I'm going to change things up a little bit. As you may have guessed, from some of my posts, I have aspirations of writing a book. (Or two, three, or four… We'll see.) Anyway, all of my stories, up to 3/6/17, are true and happened to me. I'm thinking about adding some characters to my stories and playing around with fiction writing. You'll be able to tell the real stories from fiction. I think. ;-)

 

I'm not sure what my books are going to be like, yet. I've always enjoyed reading fiction but, maybe non-fiction is the right path for me. I'm pretty confident with the voice I've developed in telling my silly stories and would like to continue to write in that tone. I know I'm going to start off slow because, as you know, self-discipline has never been one of my stronger qualities. I may try to play around with other subjects, too. Stay tuned.

 

This site is meant to make you laugh through stories that you may be able to relate to whether it's sour love, a cooking disaster, a social faux-pas, etc. So, bear with me as I stumble through my experiences, hopefully, more gracefully than the actual event, but just as funny, and either share the lesson or just make you laugh out loud.

If there's ever a story that really hits your funny bone or makes your day, let me know. I'd love to hear from you.

So, sit back, put on your reading glasses and enjoy.

Please, take a minute to sign my guest book. It seems I have readers from around the world. I'd be more than happy to put you on an update list so you'll know when I have a new post. Cheers!

  

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Thursday, November 13, 2008

Chicken

I am under the weather today; I started getting a scratchy throat Sunday on my way to a work event in Rhode Island. I thought maybe I was just thirsty. No, unfortunately, four days later, I’m in the throes of a full blown flu.


So, what is a single gal to do? Sleep, watch old movies and make good ol’ fashioned chicken soup; the Greek way, of course, with egg and lemon. By the way, I am still wearing my “Kiss Me I’m Greek” apron.


I took a stroll over to Whole Foods in the rain. I considered driving but I had already accumulated $100 worth of parking tickets today so, I thought it best to leave my car behind. Let me digress a second… I hate the parking situation in the North End.


Anyway, I was so happy to find organic, grain-fed chicken which I scooped right up into my basket. I’ve been seeing such awful things about how the poor cluckers are treated, after reading the packaging, it sounded like my little guy lived a decent life. Up until he had his head chopped off, mind you.


I had prepared myself mentally and emotionally for “the bag.” You know, the giblets. The last time I worked with a whole chicken, I was directed, to my dismay, to “pull the bag out of the chicken before you stick it in the pan.” “Uh, what bag? And, from where?????” were my immediate thoughts. After I pulled it out of it’s fanny, I suspected that would be the last time I made chicken. But, alas, here I am again.


Can I just tell you? Nothing would have prepared me for the scene unfolding before my eyes. As I cut the bag open, I couldn’t help but notice white things sticking out of the chicken’s body. Yes, feathers. “Are you kidding me???” I thought. I immediately called my mother. Who, once
again, was completely lacking in any sort of empathy. She suggested I pluck them! What! With the tweezers I use for my brows? The ones I paid $15 for at Sephora? I don’t think so.

                                                                                                                

It doesn’t end there. If that wasn’t bad enough, when I pulled it completely out of the bag, the neck unfolded like an erect penis! I nearly fainted. It was at least three inches long, almost half the size of the bird! She didn’t believe me when I screamed. I had to take a picture with my phone and send it. She texted back, “Cut NECK off!”


I did it. I chopped that little sucker off with my Cutco cleaver. I teared up when I heard the crack but, I followed through. I was actually pretty proud of myself. I gave Tweety a trim, rubbed him down with a little olive oil and proceeded as planned.


I had a lovely chicken dinner with soup on the side. In fact, I think I’m starting to feel better already.

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My main goal is to make you smile and, hopefully, laugh out loud by sharing experiences that you can either relate to or just appreciate that it didn't happen to you.

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