I’ve been single awhile. I don’t mind, well, not really. Most days, I can honestly say, I’m completely content. My only obligation is to work so I can afford myself. I don’t have to ask permission for anything and I can go anywhere, whenever I want (if someone else is buying.) I have a great apartment, when the shower is working and the wind isn’t blowing through the closed windows…

On the days I could use some help, like, with moving, getting my heat to work or insulating windows, I wish, more than anything, I was part of a couple. I have a ton of guy friends but I hate asking for help. A boyfriend is almost obligated. At this point, my number one reason for having a male counterpart would be so I didn’t have to go to Home Depot again. Ever.

I was in the other day to get plastic insulation for my windows. Every single one is broken, it’s either cracked or the top window doesn’t stay up. They need to be nailed shut and taped then shrink-wrapped with plastic. Within minutes of being in Home Depot, I felt deduced to moron status. I hadn’t even thought about the size of my windows.  I guess I just assumed it was one size fits all…

There is a tape measure in my apartment; it’s decoupaged with green and yellow flowers and I’m pretty sure it can’t be more than 40”. I don’t use it very often because I’m a firm believer in “eye-balling” it. I have minimal holes in the wall around picture frames because of my expertise, actually.

In fact, that’s kind of the way I choose men. I “eye-ball” them, sum them up within a few seconds and proceed with nailing them into the wall of my heart. However, most of them are crooked and mismatched but they hang there as my eclectic little group. I digress…

I found another woman going through the boxes, reading the different sizes and hoped she felt like a moron, too. She didn’t. She told me everything I needed to know about window insulation. In fact, she told me I could save some money if I got the thick plastic roll in the paint aisle and cut it to size myself. I considered it but then thought, “Who am I kidding?" The likelihood that I’ll get the pre-cut ones up is slim-to-none. To think that I’ll take the time to measure and cut thick plastic to fit my old, broken windows is COMPLETELY out of the realm of possibility.

Can I just tell you? I did actually ask a guy to help but, he blew me off for a Bruins game. Typical. I guess I need to start measuring…