Can I Just Tell You?

Welcome to Can I Just Tell You?
Thanks for visiting!

Can I just tell you? This whole site needs an overhaul. My goodness! Thank you for visiting, come back again in a few weeks. I still appreciate your support. :)
 
I love your support. So many of you have encouraged me to keep writing all these years. I took a few years off because I wasn't feeling very confident about my skill and self-conscience about my subject matter. I really appreciate your gentle (sometimes haunting) push to get back on the proverbial horse. My favorite thing in the world is making someone laugh, typically at my own expense. It warms my heart to hear that my silly stories have helped you smile or laugh out loud when you felt like that's the last thing you could do.

 

I also really appreciate the support of many boyfriends who read through my entire collection of crazy and still chose to continue dating. I'm not sure if you felt bad for me or found me charming. Regardless, thanks for the encouragement.

 

I'm going to change things up a little bit. As you may have guessed, from some of my posts, I have aspirations of writing a book. (Or two, three, or four… We'll see.) Anyway, all of my stories, up to this point 8/3/15, are true and happened to me. I'm thinking about adding some characters to my stories and playing around with fiction writing. You'll be able to tell the real stories from fiction. I think. ;-)

 

I'm not sure what my books are going to be like, yet. I've always enjoyed reading fiction but, maybe non-fiction is the right path for me. I'm pretty confident with the voice I've developed in telling my silly stories and would like to continue to write in that tone. I know I'm going to start off slow because, as you know, self-discipline has never been one of my stronger qualities. I may try to play around with other subjects, too. Stay tuned.

 

This site is meant to make you laugh through stories that you may be able to relate to whether it's sour love, a cooking disaster, a social faux-pas, etc. So, bear with me as I stumble through my experiences, hopefully, more gracefully than the actual event, but just as funny, and either share the lesson or just make you laugh out loud.

If there's ever a story that really hits your funny bone or makes your day, let me know. I'd love to hear from you.

So, sit back, put on your reading glasses and enjoy.

Please, take a minute to sign my guest book. It seems I have readers from around the world. I'd be more than happy to put you on an update list so you'll know when I have a new post. Cheers!

  

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Thursday, September 3, 2015

Love Light

So. I was violated at the gym this evening. By my underwear. I don't know what I was thinking not bringing a reasonable pair. Instead, I was wearing panties that should only be worn for a close encounter of the male kind. (It's all about being prepared.) With short, baggy shorts. Not only was I violated but I also flashed the entire class every time I did a high kick or hip stretches. Oh well. I couldn't wait to get out of there, I contemplated leaving the class early.

 

When I got to my car, I noticed a folded note tucked into my driver's door handle. Immediately, I thought, "Oh no! Someone hit my car and left a note." Ugh. I threw my stuff in the car and walked around to find the damage, holding the folded note in my hand. Nothing. "Hmm," I thought. I unfolded the note.

 

Can I just tell you? Apparently, I have a secret admirer at the gym. It was a love note! Well, I'm exaggerating. It was a "I think you're cute and want you to call me" note. It couldn't have come at a better time. It preceded an invitation from a former flame who would like to help me prepare for my upcoming golf tournament. (Via text. You've read about him before.) He saw my post about it on Facebook. You know what they say, "When one golf door closes, another one opens." They do say that…

 

Did I tell you I finally bought clubs? I had to. My boss invited the whole office to play golf in an upcoming tournament for our members. I was the only female to bite, much to my 3 team members' disappointment. I'll be playing in a foursome with 3 men who golf all the time. I know they hate me. Well, not really but, they're super annoyed that I'm going to increase their score. That's inevitable. I've never played in a real game before. I've been practicing at the driving range. Thank God I had a mini lesson during a date a few weeks ago! My drive has really improved. I'm almost up to 200 yards, I nearly jumped for joy when I got the ball to where I wanted. Once.

 

Back to my admirer. I have no idea who it is. I did pass a cute guy walking into the gym and said hello. I'm assuming it was him. I'm hoping it's another guy who I've noticed recently. I've been super smooth about it. Instead of coyly following him from the heavy weights to the pull-up area with my eyes, I've been following him with my whole head. Very inconspicuous. I'm not shy. Clearly.

 

I'd be thrilled if it was that guy. Highly unlikely, though. He's witnessed my lackadaisical push-up. He seems to be really into fitness. It's unfortunate men aren't into working out with their shirts off at my conservative gym.

 

I haven't texted my admirer yet. I will. I think it's cute. Plus, his hand-writing and spelling were good. I'd meet him for a beer. Who knows?

 

As I drove home, I remembered a conversation with one of my former bosses. She didn't get why I was perpetually single. ("Have you read my blog?" I wondered. "I'm a goofball, that's why.") She asked me if my love light was on; then, explained that her mom always told her to leave her "love light" on. It's like when you're waiting for a cab in NYC, you only try to hail the ones with the light on. It's an imaginary love antenna that men sense, apparently. I've thought about it on and off for years. I guess mine hasn't been on; maybe I've been a little too independent. (I know that's not true but my mom has been saying that for YEARS. Ugh.)

 

Anyway, I think mine's finally on. Thank you, Tinder. I'm ready.

Thu, September 3, 2015 | link          Comments

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Whole

I've been hearing about a lot of breakups lately. Some of the relationships dragged on way too long and one of the partners decided they were tired of wasting their time. Essentially. One of my friends had met someone online who she dated for two years. At the beginning of the relationship, she seemed like she could take him or leave him. I wondered, "Why, on Earth, would she continue?" Slim pickings, I suppose.

 

It does freak me out a little bit because she's beautiful. She's been married, has a grown daughter, and is exceptionally fit. Yet, she's still having a tough time finding the right match for her. I have never been married, I'm without children, and I can barely squeak out two push-ups. I'm an average brunette with an okay figure. (I've kept off the 10lbs! Hallelujah! My mom tells me I looked better 10lbs ago. I really can't win with her. Greeks are supposed to be curvy. I am; but I am also half Swedish. Minus the height.)

 

It isn't working out with my golfer, unfortunately. I liked him a lot. He didn't feel the same, apparently. So, I'm back to my friend, Tinder. I changed my age again. The choices for a, now, 43 year old woman are frightening. I'm not joking. Yuck. I know it's not all about looks but, I'm average. I'd like someone, at least, average looking. I don't get the choice of photos. Some are so goofy! I have to do a double-take on many of them because, I'm like, "Whaaatttt? Wtf is that guy thinking posting that picture?" Then, I'll shake my head and swipe left. There may be an opportunity for a decent portrait photographer. These guys need someone (female) to look at their profile pictures and just say, "No. Not that one."

 

I'm back to my 1976 birth year. It's a little white lie. Some may say a lie is a lie. Which is true. However, I gave it some thought and decided if some guy lied about his age, made it through my online parameters, and I swiped right for him, then, great. I'm glad he did it because, obviously, I'm attracted to him and would talk to him at a bar. That's what this is all about. Isn't it? Find someone you are attracted to and connect. Maybe you're attracted to someone's personality first. That's what work and school relationships are for. Since I’m through school and everyone in my office is married, that isn't going to work for me. Now, it's more about first visual impressions and spark. So, we'll see. My parameters are 5 years younger to 5 years older. That's about the same age, I think. (Right???)

 

My other friend lamenting over a break-up is a cherished high school friend. Her situation is a little different, she's going through a divorce. Currently, it's a separation but, she feels strongly that her husband is done. He cheated on her. I think he's a d-bag. My God, I can't even begin to tell you how much I hate him for putting her through the hurt and pain she's been through the last year. I married them, which pisses me off even more. Clearly, he wasn't listening to my sermon about love, understanding, and forever. When she told me, I immediately felt like punching him in the face but, since we were separated by 3,000 miles, I suggested she encourage her cats to pee on his clothes. That didn't happen. We're both too nice, I may not have done it either. I would have punched him in the face, though. (As you know, I'm taking boxing classes. With the gloves. Mine are pink.)

 

Anyway, I could go on about the saga. You get the point. It's heartbreaking. She sent me an email a few days ago telling me how sad she's been feeling because it seems to be at the point of no return. My first thought was, "You're whole. You don't need him." He brought her all this sadness for the last year. She's now having so much fun working as an extra in Hollywood. (She lives in LA.) She's making all kinds of new, fun friends AND she's beautiful! Inside and out. Of course, she's still sad about the situation. She was with him for 10 years. I'd imagine it feels like a piece of your heart goes missing. (Or, wanders off with some little tramp.)

 

Can I just tell you? It really bums me out that there's this sense that we need someone else to feel whole. We are whole. We don't need anyone else to complete us. (Damn you, Jerry Maguire!) There is always opportunity for growth and I love to be with someone who challenges me to be better. I'm looking for someone else who wants to share their whole with mine but, together, we make each other better. Is Tinder the right path? We'll see.

Wed, September 2, 2015 | link          Comments


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